Saturday, November 29, 2014

CONVERSATIONS ABOUT INTER-ABLED ROMANCE, part 5


Like all romantic entanglements, the reasons for their tensions—tensions, which eventually led the invisible rubber band between them to snap—weren't quite clear.  Or maybe they were entirely too clear.  Telling me about it, Shane struggled for the right words, but his meaning rang with the clarity of breaking glass.

"For a while, she was planning on moving up here to be with me, to be able to help out with all my stuff," he explained.  "She wanted to be the one that takes care of me.  And for an 18- or 19-year-old to be committing her life like that, it's not, I mean—when she asked me for the breakup I was upset, obviously, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  I can't expect her to give up her life for me at this point in her life."

I asked Shane the question he seemed, to me, to have been hinting at: Did she get flak from her family or friends?

"Yes," he replied without skipping a beat.  "Okay, that's another thing.  Probably like three or four months into the relationship, she started telling me about how her sister and the woman they live with [a close family friend/guardian], how they didn't really agree with her being with me.  I've met them, and they're not evil people.  But, like, for instance, once the woman said something like, She's not going to be able to take care of you and provide for you, and all that stuff.  Her aunt was also kind of against it and didn't really understand what she saw in me, because of the wheelchair.  It made [my now ex-girlfriend] so mad.  She was livid at them.  But I think honestly being around them all the time, like, some of their thoughts kind of slipped into her mind.  And she started to see their perspective more than she used to."

There was peer pressure as well.  "Her sister … has an able-bodied boyfriend," Shane explained.  "At their age they're running around having sex all the time.  They drink, they go out.  I think she sees that and even though she doesn't want to be that shallow, she also kind of wants to be a young person.  And I want to give her that."
 
            It forces you to mature fast—or at least it makes you act mature, whether you feel it or not—having a profound disability. 

11 comments:

  1. Ben, I'm in the middle of reading your book with great enjoyment. I'm not sure why, because I'm not disabled-- even my progressive myopia has recently been cured--but I've been drawn to those with--uh, "physical challenges" (excuse it, please) since I could try to puzzle out life. Anyway, your book is absorbing and I like your blog. All the best from a well-wisher.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very interesting points you have mentioned, regards for posting. best thing to learn about games is how to get pes coins in real life.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for the blog. It was very useful for me. your blog have so many legit information and also found some interesting topic is how to download movies from Netflix

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love all the posts, I really enjoyed, I would like more information about this, because it is very useful and working. If you have time you can check
    click here

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wanted to thank you for this excellent read!! I definitely loved every little bit of it. I have you bookmarked your site to check out the new stuff you post also you can check my work Free xbox gift card

    ReplyDelete
  6. Enjoyed reading the article above, really explains everything in detail, the article is very interesting and effective. Thank you and good luck for the upcoming articles. If you have time you can check <a href="https://www.onrpg.com/boards/members/1990510-erickaweber60> skindex </a>

    ReplyDelete
  7. It contains wonderful and helpful posts. Keep up the good work !. Thank you for this wonderful Article! I also have a software which I frequently use for Protect files from damage and Compress and archive files you can check it on Winrar.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete